ALONE...

I haven't been alone at home in a very long time. W's in Vegas for a bachelor's party. It feels so weird! So sheem-sheem.

I haven't journaled in a while. I should start again...I want to start reflecting on my life and where I'm going and how God should be driving me...not just living aimlessly or by whim all the time. I really need wisdom. I feel like my mind is ticking a mile a minute with ideas and worries these days, but I'm not stopping to listen to God.

It's strange b/c I interviewed w/some law folks today, and I didn't envy their lives at all. Well, I was a little intimidated by one of the lawyers who used to be a police sergeant at first, but he was a nice guy. Anyways, I feel this pressure that I shouldn't be lazy & "should get a job," but I really don't envy people who've "accomplished much" with law. I respect their intelligence, etc., but I know I need something more than what they have. I don't envy them b/c I know that they will never be filled if God didn't save them. Some of these people may have respect & $, but if they don't have something deeper, a joy and a hope and a comfort from God that ppl can't give, then in the end, what does it all amount to?? So many people are lawyers and have lots of money...and sure, they get respect from their titles by some people or perhaps they get young hot wives after they get divorced, etc...but in the end, what does it all amount to??

I don't want W to take the place of God in my life. When W is home, sometimes I'm so happy and distracted being w/him that I forget that we need God. Maybe God is trying to orchestrate this "wknd off" to remind me that I'm lonely for something deeper than my hubby. Just to get me alone.

I feel people's prayers these days. My parents' and my grandma's prayers...probably for my job search, etc...They're always interceding for us. My family is blessed...God really loves us.

What does GOD want these days from my life?
1) He wants attention. He wants to be noticed.
2) He wants me to love Him.
3) He wants me to pray for my hubby & my family.
4) He wants me to not be greedy or to think that $ is so important. He wants $ to not have a hold on me.
5) He wants me to trust that He will lead me to the right job, if I trust Him and believe in Him. He wants me to be a witness at work, to work hard, to not be lazy, and to be THANKFUL. He wants me to be a good steward of my $, so that I can be a blessing to my family & friends.
6) He wants me to stop judging people in the church, particularly pastors, etc. He wants me to love, not judge.
7) He wants me to be quiet and listen to Him more. He wants to minister to me and teach me thru His Spirit.

Thank you, God. Please help me understand your will and your ways. Please direct my life where I am right now.

Not to us, O LORD, but to Your Name be glory.

Psalm 115 (New International Version)

 Julia's SUMMER 2006 LOVES

my halmunees!!! God bless our prayer warriors... =)


Half Moon Bay...the gorgeous beach...

(hah, that's me in my "screensaver pic"!)

(this crab was scrumptious...still makes my mouth water...)

I *heart* my rambunctious summer school kids...(My spunky & cute students...the kid on the ground is Jason...I often had to take him to the "principal" to calm down cuz he couldn't control his giggles in class and always had the hiccups! =)


I *heart* my BayLegal co-workers & bosses! (Such a laidback, cool, fun bunch....the one on the rt bottom was our high school volunteer intern at the DV clinic..my "little sis" Annie!)

 

I love my sisters!!! (amy lynn & anna took me to Elephant Bar for my bday...they tried to get me drunk off my strawberry daiquiri...i was so touched b/c ames drove crazy FAR to celebrate and anka surprised me w/2 really cute outfits and tons of EARRINGS...i luv 'em, yes i do! it was the hottest day ever, so we're all sun-burned and oily-faced, hah)



I love family-time...mom and dad time...just being HOME...(my dad's bday...)


I love actually funny comedy! (pic of "Kims of Comedy")...
If you haven't watched "Kims of Comedy" live, you got to...The funniest Korean-American comics of the 4 "Kims" = Bobby Lee w/the poofy hair and Dr. Ken w/the blue T-shirt...Bobby Lee is the baby-faced guy on MadTV who plays the "Blind Kungfu Master" and the 40-year-old Virgin Director is doing a movie/show about Dr. Ken...he's a hilarious Nerdy Doctor by day, Crazy Ghetto Dancing Comic by Nite..)


I love friends w/little ones on the way!!! ...new babies, new mommies, new aunties, and new beginnings... =P


Welcome Baby Malaysia!!!
Malaysia's Big Sis...Destiny =)
Malaysia's Aunties!!!

...What a PACKED, wonderful summer.

Conversation w/my Guy Co-Worker today:
[He, a Korean American guy "Y", just got married 3 wks ago to his college sweetheart from Berkeley. He's my age and they've dated 8 yrs.]

Me:  Hey, how's married life? You guys must kinda feel like you've been married a while cuz you've been together so long.

Y: Yeah, I know. We've been together like a decade. It's cool. But it's a lot about working on communication.

Me: What do you mean?

Y: Well, a couple days ago she was telling me that we don't "do" anything together anymore. Like we don't go out...that I like to just stay home and watch tv or stuff after work.

So I asked...."Really? Ok...well then, we can do something you want to do...what do YOU want to do? Just let me know and we'll do it."

Me: Oh, that's good!

Y: But...uh-uh, she didn't like my response very much. She kinda got upset at me actually.

Me:  Haha, why??

Y: Well, girls want the guy to be pro-active about them. To put a lot of thought into them, to make them feel special. To invest more time figuring out who they are and their likes.

So, I realized that when I read her, and then suggested..."Well...How about going sailing on Shoreline together?"

Me: Cool. She like that better?

Y: Yeah, she did. She just needed me to be proactive and make her feel special. You know, it's just about the fact that guys are just lazy and they have to realize they need to change.

Me: But doesn't the girl need to change too?

Y:  No, not about this. Girls don't need to change. Guys need to change.  All guys are lazy in this dept..they just don't think about these things. These are things you learn when you've been together a while. 

Me: Hmmm...interesting...I think a lot of couples go thru this stuff.

Y: Yep, it's normal.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------

My thoughts afterwards:
-- Wow. My co-worker is a great, down-to-earth guy. He really loves his wife. And he seems pretty "with-it" in the relationship dept...probably from being in a longterm relationship w/ a girl who voices what she wants, but he tries to respond by being humble and open-minded about it.
-- But I don't know if I agree that girls don't need to change too. I think often girls can bottle in their disappointments and then implode/explode all at once. Or they go the other extreme and nag and criticize their partner way too much.
--But at the same time, guys shouldn't think any time a girl brings something up, it's nagging either.  I know guys who think girls nag anytime they have an opinion that doesn't make them feel good, and those guys definitely need a dose of sensitivity, humility and love too.
--But the main gist of his example is VERY true: Girls need to feel special. Girls just love "random, proactive acts of love." When a partner doesn't read her or try to feed that, she can start to feel unappreciated and unloved. Hence, the criticisms and "nagging" commence. 
Whether that be a word of encouragement, a hug, a note, flowers...It's not about anything material at all. It could be a simple act of proactively doing something that you know SHE will enjoy, without her having to say it. When you've been in a long-term relationship, it's easy to forget that and then wonder why she is upset when you think everything is fine and she should just play along. It's b/c the girls really care about you and your relationship that they point out when the relationship is going stale.

 Guys that all girls will cherish: Keep the romance alive once in a while. Be proactive in finding out what your partner wants or enjoys. And surprise her once in a while! Don't expect her to have to tell you and spell things out for you! Girls don't want to do that and feel like they're forcing you!

Keep me safe, O God, for in You I take refuge.
I said to the LORD, 'You are my Lord;
apart from You I have no good thing.'
—Psalm 16:1-2 

So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God.
I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.
—Isaiah 41:10